Tag Archives: Peyton Manning neck

Football is Baaaack

There has been a lot of action in the weeks since the lockout ended in July.  Starting with the absolute disrespect the league showed for its fans that further cemented the mantra that the NFL is “a business,” the league hasn’t mentioned its appreciation for its fans sticking through a lockout that was more senseless than Charlie Sheen’s comedy tour (Charlie Sheen reminds me of the friend who everyone thinks is funny and says that he could do stand up until they realize that without his friends he has just a bunch of inside jokes that get him booed off the stage.  I’m sure the Tiger Blood joke killed in between each snort of cocaine.).  Rosters were at 96 players and had to be trimmed down with no Organized Team Activities (OTA’s) and barely a training camp.  Free agents couldn’t be signed for days after the lockout ended and players on a team couldn’t be traded which had fans from different cities scrambling in confusion (the Eagles couldn’t trade Kevin Kolb right away and led to a slight worry that they would just keep him…again).  Or that when free agency had started there were mass and false reports where various free agents would end up. Adam Schefter, who should be called “The Weatherman Because He’s Right 30% of the Time,” speculated that the Eagles were the front-runners for defensive-end Ray Edwards and the Jets would land the prize of the off-season, Nnamdi Asomugha.  But Edwards went to the Falcons and Asomugha landed with the Eagles (who also got Jason Babin, the other Steve Smith, Ronnie Brown, Cullen Jenkins, and Antonio Rodgers-Cromartie). 

Then we had to endure the likes of Mark Schlereth, Merril Hoge, and Herm Edwards with their ass-kissing reviews of every team and every player they get questions about.  Then we had to hear about Tim Tebow and how much of a winner he was in college and “No matter how bad his mechanics are the man is a winner!” Bottom line, Tebow can’t play.  In the latter part of August, Fantasy Football drafts happened throughout the country reminding men that Sundays are about to get so much more enjoyable; that although birthdays are meaningless and Christmas is spent with your in-laws, at least you can hear Joe Buck every week (my favorite fantasy team name was from a guy who sells funeral plots. His team name was Grim-reaper, points for appropriateness.) For the final few days before the season, the NFL was dominated with Peyton Manning reports of whether or not he would play in week one. I watched SportsCenter multiple times today and Manning’s Neck competed with the KHL team plane crash (my prayers go out to the families of those lost) for most times it was preceded by “Developing Story” or “Breaking News” (it was 4-3 Peyton when I turned it off).  Peyton’s neck spread so far that it led to this conversation in my Sports Journalism class today.

New York Giants Fan: Is Peyton playing this week?

Me: I’m not sure, they said he’s doubtful.
New York Jets Fan: I don’t think he’ll play.

Me: *Nods in agreement*

NYGF: Damn, well I drafted him sixth overall in my one fantasy league.

Me: Yeah, I was thinki…wait, what? YOU PICKED HIM SIXTH OVERALL?!

NYJF: *Laughing*

NYGF: Yeah, Vick went one and Brady went five and I don’t like Aaron Rodgers.

Me: *Passes Out*

And still, with all of that, all I have to say is, it’s good to be back.